Wednesday, April 10, 2013

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Okay, it's obviously been ages since I've blogged. So lets get the elephant out of the room. I got divorced. It was the single hardest thing I have ever experienced in my entire life. It crushed, and honestly nearly destroyed me in ways I didn't know were possible. I was completely and totally devastated. I never, ever thought it would happen. I made mistakes. Lots of them. I wasn't there for the woman that I loved more than life itself like I needed to be.

That said, I didn't have an affair, I didn't get addicted to porn, I didn't gamble, and I didn't abuse her, physically or mentally. I tried to be a good person and a good husband and father, though I often fell short. I had always believed that though I am a flawed person with many shortcomings, as long as I was honest, loyal, and faithful to my wife and children and loved them the best that I knew how, I would always have my wife and my children with me forever. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough.

Soooo, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And it didn't kill me and I'm still here. I still have too amazing daughters who are the center of my universe. I get to see them every other weekend, which isn't nearly enough, (only having them living with me every day would be) I've got a decent job working for Enterprise  Rent-A-Car, a job that I felt the hand of God guiding me to do. And through it all, I've never lost my religious faith. And I've gained some amazing friends on the journey. So, life hasn't turned out at all like I had expected or would have hoped, but it hasn't been completely awful in some ways either. I'd also like to think as a result I've grown closer to the family I grew up with, though there's always still room for improvement.

So, still alive and still a work in progress.

1 comment:

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