So, I don't have all the answers as to why; and why with my musings and theories about it. For whatever the reasons, as an adult after about age 22 or 23, the Holidays (especially Christmas) has always been tough for me. It is what it is.
Despite the ghost of Christmas past, I've been determined to write a new future for myself and my family (especially Carrie) for Christmas present and Christmas future. Fortunately, as of the end of Christmas Eve, we're off to a great start.
As pictured above, we have evidence of an old tradition in my family of origin. We used to always open one present from my parents. It seemed fitting that my dad and my Stepmother Stacy should be the source of the gifts for the girls for this evening. Don't worry Mom, your gifts for the girls will get good attention in the morning.
So, in the first pic. they're tearing into the presents, and Hannah is taking care of business by signaling for a refill.
The books were a hit, as was the stuffed animal Olivia. Leah is sleeping with it as we speak.
Like the books, some of the rest of the success of the day included some yummy Chinese from the Black Pearl (a restaurant, not the Pirate Ship in Pirates of the Caribbean)Carrie Dodged a bullet by making it out of wal-mart alive not once but twice. I won't tell you why she went back there twice on Christmas Eve. That's her story to tell if she chooses to at all. The girls did amazingly well waiting for her in the van for over 15 minutes after we dropped her off and picked up the food at the Black Pearl. This might not sound like any big deal, but for Leah who is stir crazy and ready to rip apart the van like a human tornado after only a few minutes usually; and Hannah who is a HUGE momma's girl who cannot bare to be parted from her dearest mother for...well...basically never, they were amazing.
Quite the happy little girl. This is the first year where Leah really is starting to get Christmas and has been looking forward to it accordingly.
I've been sleeping really terribly lately, not being able to sleep until 1 or 2am. It was 2 last night. So, after I got up from 7:30am to 8:30am to give Carrie a nap, I in turn went back for some more slumber. I knew that I would be on for some important childcare and housework when I got up, and if I didn't meet the challenge both with a positive attitude and my "A" game as far as making it happen with getting things done was concerned, then we weren't going to have a good Christmas Eve.
Along those lines, We had an enormous pile of dishes that I all but finished after an hour by hand since we're no longer with dishwasher. I also walked the 50-60 yards or so to the dumpster in the 8 degree weather with tons and tons of garbage.
I know this is probably starting to sound like a list of all the reasons why I'm so great this Christmas Eve. In Christmases past as a married man, I have tended to be a recluse, depressed, and not at all helpful. K, basicly I've had my head up my butt. It'sbeen a little bit better the last couple of Christmases or so and throughout the holiday season, but I've been inconsistent.
I'm just greatful that I haven't been a complete looser this year and that barring a total negative turnaround, we have a chance of having a memorable Christmas this year for positive and not negative reasons.
I'm also greatful that we're able to teach Leah and Hannah about Jesus and the
importance of this holiday. I'm greatful that we can focus on him and that they can learn that there's more to Christmas than just Santa and retailers making billions off us spending as much as we can to buy our kids and their love. Don't get me wrong, I love presents just as much as anyone, perhaps too much. But I'm greatful that we can teach them that in this season of giving, that selfishness doesn't have to be the bottom line and that it's not just about getting and that's all there is.
Proof that I've either become a great liar or I'm really having a better holidays. No mope. No scowl. There's still a lot of room for improvement from me during the holidays and otherwise, but I'm hopeful that this can be a lasting change/improvement.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night...