Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A difficult week
It's great to have Carrie back with Hannah and Leah. Carrie of course had a fantastic time in NYC; a much deserved and overdue break from the rigors of being a mother and wife, especially to a much beloved yet very difficult autistic toddler and adorable, extremely sweet, yet demanding 1 1/2 year old.(Leah and Hannah) All of this would be enough to warrant anyone a 2 months vacation, but a week had to do.
The downside is that Hannah came back with a wicked case of the stomach flu that she spread to the rest of us. Not exactly a good way to adjust to jet lag and the fatigue of traveling and being out of town.
We are just barely now all getting over the pukes and the poohs. It's been a long, hard week since we were all too sick to take care of ourselves, let alone one another. It'll be nice for things to bet back to normal again. Unfourtunately, the added traveling followed by subsequent unintended time off didn't do much to replenish our pocket book. Our next few months of bills should be...well...interesting. (Note to family: this is not a plea for you to send us money. Prayers, well wishing, and thinking happy thoughts will do just fine.)
While I know the girls had a great time down with Grandma and Grandpa Day and miss them still, they are quite possessive of their mommy and are overanxious to not allow her to leave their sight. If Carri goes ANYWHERE without taking them; (work for a few hours, the store, etc.) they absolutely WIGG!!! I have always (I feel) accepted well that I'm #2 next to their Mommy in their book and really don't have a problem with that; the problem I do have is when the want her and only her. When Carrie's not around and their moods dictate that I'm not an adequate sub. it can get a little hard. My nerves tend to get a little shot when everything I do for them just doesn't quite make the grade because I'm not mom and I don't do everything the same. As I said, I'm ok that they love her more, I'm not ok when the only love that they'll accept is from someone who is unavailable and I'm as an option am unexceptable. Make sense?
Regardless, I absolutely love and adore Hannah and Leah, no matter what their mood and preferences may be.
I know that this sounds corny and cleche (as many of the things I say do,) but as hard as things can be at times, I'm greatful for my trials. I know that they help me grow and be not only a better person, but they can shape me into the kind of person I'd like to be.
Also cleche, many, MANY have trials that I know I couldn't handle. It always seems like when I'm whining the most, I get exposed to someone who really has it hard. At these times, I re-evaluate and realize that my life is really quite easy compared to theirs. I don't have leprosy, I'm not blind, deaf, paraplegic, I'm not dying of cancer or AIDS, etc. etc. My trials are relatively simple compared to some. I just need to shut up and enjoy life, my wife, children, and truely make something of myself by making things better for others other than myself.